Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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