what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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