life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
