Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
