I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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