That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
