wanna go halves on a baby?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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