I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
