Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
