i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
