So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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