Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
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