how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
