u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
