he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
