6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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