Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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