she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
