She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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