i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
