mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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