hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
