i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize