So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
