I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
