Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
