My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
