Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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