He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I lost the right to judge tonight
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
