"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
