i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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