ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
