You're so nebulous sometimes
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
