Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
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Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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