gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
