4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
