its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
