why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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