Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
