just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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