If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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