Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He passed out mid-signature
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
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you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
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You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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