Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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