OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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