I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
