He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
