I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
