So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
