Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
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