some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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