Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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