So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
