is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Congratulations! We have a period
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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