Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
