Whod you bang
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize