I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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