I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize