just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
