I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
