If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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