Dual....:-)
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
