so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
