I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
