Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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