we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
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I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
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I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.