considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?