Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
