Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Terrible idea I love it
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
